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Today, I made homemade chicken and noodles- successfully!! This is a really big accomplishment considering my kitchen consists of a two-burner hot plate and a microwave convection oven. Forget about a garbage disposal and dishwasher.
Anyways, I was really happy to discover that the big hypermarket store sells dead, pre-plucked whole chickens. It looked just like the kind you buy in the states. “Looked like” being the key word.
So, I unwrap the chicken and lay it out on the cutting board intending to untuck the nicely pinned legs, reach in and pull out the sack of giblets and the neck that would always already be removed in the states.
I unwrap one leg, only to find a giant claw waiting to attack me. (I know the chicken was dead but this is my story and it was ready to attack- trust me.) For those of you who don’t know me, I don’t really like dead chickens to start with. They kind of weird me out.
After taking a quick peek up the chicken’s pitooty, I realized that there was no nice little sack of innards waiting for me. So I quickly retucked the giant claw and decided to just cook the chicken claws, innards and all.
There was just one problem. I turned the chicken around and noticed something sticking out of the top end. I reached in and pulled thinking it was one of the wings. No, it was the head. I promptly reached for some rubber gloves. After about a 10 sec. staring contest, the chicken won and I threw a Styrofoam plate over the beast’s head.
A few deep breaths later, I convinced myself that the chicken was dead. I gave a few moments thought to just boiling the chicken with the head and all but decided against it. Reaching for the largest knife in the kitchen, I promptly removed the chicken’s head at the neck.
Psyching myself up to place the chicken in boiling water, in walked my hero. Jeff lovingly removed the chicken’s claws and disposed of the head and gawking eyes.
I went on to make some lovely chicken and noodles and brownies, too! And we all lived happily ever after (except the chicken- may he rest in peace).
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6 comments:
I'm sitting here laughing, thinking that would make a great sit-com episode. That would freak me out too, expecially the head!! Yuck.
I'm glad you successfully made dinner, for all the trauma you went through you deserved it.
Tammy
Well, there was my good laugh for the day (almost to tears). I have now gone back to feeling sorry for you. I probably would have reacted the same way. Have Jeff tell you about the time that he brought home an ice chest full of frozen, uncleaned trout. It was probably just as halarious watching us clean them (I wasn't about to call his dad for help) as it would have been watching you - well, almost. I can't wait for the girls to read this one! I wonder what your pork chops will look like!
Did I just hear you say you were eating out from now on??
Later,
Jan/Mom
What a laugh! Loved reading your story. At least you didn't have to grab the thing alive and wring its neck off, plus pluck feathers!! Today, we would all quit eating chicken. Hooray for Jeff!
Thanks for writing about your experiences. That was a hoot.
Gma Pat
Oh my gosh.. I had to take deep breaths as I read that. You are a stronger woman than I!! :)
Congrats on the chicken and noodles.. should I be sending you "chicken of the sea" cans?!
Oh the chicken noodle story is tooooo funny!!! You made me cry becasue I was laughing so hard!
Love ya, Erika
That is hysterical!! Did Cloe chuckle as you explored the not so American chicken?
I can't wait to hear how the nationalists use those parts. Maybe it will be a dish you can share?? Hmmm or not.
Jeff's theme song now "hear I come to save the day!!"
Great Aunt Kaye
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