Funny Friday

This sign is posted on all the elevators in the subway stations around town. I never really thought this idea needed to be communicated but then again I have been known to be more cautious than some.  Again, some things just don't translate correctly.

Funny Friday #2.  

\Ava has this musical play table that is meant to stand next to and push the buttons.  She has decided that it is much more fun to stand on it and push the buttons with her toes.

Parenting: From A Taiwanese Perspective

My dear friend has provided more insight into the world of cultural parenting that I think is worth a separate posting.  She and her family lived in the US for a number of years and therefore understands American Culture quite well.  She is also Taiwanese and certainly understands Asian culture a good deal better than Jeff and I do as we muddle our way through.

Here is her perspective:


Hi Heather,

nice to get connected with you on the virtual world, too. :)

I want to add something to this. I agree that in Asian culture, parents enjoy bragging about their children's achievement. However, I don't think the main reason that most parents push their kids is because they can have more comfortable later life.

My parents are much richer than me actually :P. I felt the case we heard at the class is a little extreme. AS a collective culture, individual's achievement is the group's (here = family) achievement.

So I think most parents push their children so they too will feel the sense of accomplishment when their children succeed.

Also the status of a profession is very important to many. For most people, basically white collar jobs are considered to be at a higher level and much more respected than blue collar jobs. In the States, I think many parents would not mind if their kids become bus drivers or construction workers as long as they can support themselves. Here if your kid is a plumber and your neighbor's kid is a teacher than there's a huge difference.

As a result, parents push their kids to do better in school so they can get in a better-paid, more respected profession. Also in my grandparents' generation, most people were poor and life was hard. They therefore pushed their kids to work hard and succeed so their kids can live a better life. This philosophy I think still carries on.

This is an very interesting topic especially I'm teaching Sociology this semester.

Culture Lesson #2: Parenting

Cultural lessons play out in our life on an almost daily basis.  Often I am not surprised by small differences and even some of the bigger differences aren't bad.  It's just different. The food is different but I like it (especially dumplings and beef noodles- yum!). The language is different and difficult to learn but it's a fun challenge. Sometimes people can be seen as pushy but I prefer to think of them as eager to provide advice, wanted or otherwise.

Jeff and I are involved in a faith-based parenting class to meet more local people.  We also thought it would be a great idea to provide some new insight in managing a three-year old who hits her sister because in her words "it makes me happy" and an emerging toddler who has taken to throwing herself on the ground when not wanting to do something.

During our first class, as we discussed parenting methods it quickly became a culture lesson for Jeff and I.  Most parent's number one struggle was dealing with parenting-by-shame.  Basically, a child is repeatedly and consistently admonished for not being the best at all things at all times.  That is how most people were raised and the only way most know to raise their children.  This method is so prevalent that teachers will even prepare a class listing of everyone's grades so that the lower-performing students are shamed into performing better.  Parents push their children into the best schools and compare their children with others and with each other.  By the time a child has entered middle school all youthful fun and games has been replaced with extra tutoring sessions after school.  A typical 7th graders spends the entire day and evening studying and doing extra homework. And even if a student does do well they are shamed for not doing better. It is never enough.

The worse part is that oftentimes parents push so hard not because they want the best for the child but because once their child is older they are expected to care for the aging parent.  In a sense the child is expected to "repay" the loan of a good education by providing for the parents in old age.  In its ugliest form some parents feel that if they push the child to do better, then the parent will have a better retirement essentially.

Jeff and I listened to the other parents in the class struggling between wanting to raise their children in a loving manner yet not knowing how to help their children succeed without comparison and shame.  We recognized the need all the more clearly for good examples of well-balanced families who know how to have fun yet are still able to succeed.

It seems a humbling task to raise children when others are watching your example.  I was reminded of a story my grandmother told me about always storing her cast-iron skillet in the oven.  Her mother had always kept her skillet in the oven and my grandmother did the same and so on.  Noone ever knew why the cast-iron skillet was supposed to be kept in the oven.  One day she asked her mother why the skillet is always stored in the oven and my great-grandmother replied "because there was no room for it anywhere else in the kitchen."

"Lord, may others see my warts as areas to grow and not as an example to follow."

New Friends

Last week, we had some of our new friends over to our house for pizza as part of our Friday night English language fellowship group.

Our friends preferred pizza was seafood and vegetarian loaded with corn, pepper, and a few other unidentified vegetables.  Our family stuck with the usual canadian bacon and pineapple.  Funny enough, there are lots of Dominoes, Pizza Huts and other mom-and-pop pizza shops around but pepperoni is kind of hard to find and usually tastes a little funny.

Happy Birthday Jeff

Monday marked the anniversary of Jeff's 32nd year on Earth. While I am sure he could never have imagined his choices taking him clear across the world, I hope he does not regret even one single decision.

I for one could not be happier with him and am so glad to have shared almost 9 years of marriage and two children with someone so unique in spirit and character.

I appreciate his willingness to pitch in around the house and I never pick up his dirty socks off the floor. I love his thirst for life and have enjoyed being able to explore the world together.

Just yesterday I was recounting the story of our honeymoon to my Taiwanese friend. I told her that when we got married we did not have much money to go on a lavish trip to Hawaii or Europe so we opted for a sweet week in the mountains in Colorado.  It was a great trip.  My friend remarked that we had chosen wisely to start out on a small vacation because we have lots more years to take big trips to exotic places.  She paused and said "like to Taiwan."  I laughed and replied. "yeah, Taiwan, Thailand, Burma, China, Tibet, Australia, New Zealand, Indonesia and Canada (if that counts). Next stop Europe!"

I could not have a better traveling companion and the girls could not ask for a better playmate, guidance counselor, diaper changer, and provider.

So, Happy Birthday dear Jeff.  Can't wait to see where the next 32 years take us.

Mode of Transport

Taipei has a very good public transportation system that includes a subway train, bus lines and numerous taxi's to get you where you need to go.  Parking is a really big problem so a car is not recommended unless you know that your destination has designated parking.  The car is better left at home except for trips to Costco for groceries or adventures away from town.

However, we have found that the most convenient and economical means of transportation for short distances is the bicycle.  In our area, there are tons of bicycles and motor-scooters crowding the sidewalks and streets.  Jeff and I each have a baby seat attached to the back of our bikes which enables us to travel in style as a family.   Jeff's baby seat converts to a basket for carrying computer bags or the milk home from the grocery store.   The girls just love our bicycle outings.
 

Lantern Festival

The Lantern Festival marks the  end of Chinese New Year.  Lantern Festivals are hosted at various memorials and temples around Taipei.  We went to one festial at the memorial for Taiwan's founding father, Dr. Sun Yat-Sen.  

Here is a little Chinese History lesson courtesy of Wikipedia: 

 Sun Yat-Sen is considered to be the father of the Democratic movement in China directly after the fall of the Qing Dynasty at the beginning of the 20th century.  He actually became a Christian while studying in Hong Kong and earned a Doctorate of Medicine at a Christian missionary-based medical school before returning to mainland China to promote the cause of democracy.  He died of cancer before World War II and during Japanese occupation of China.  His death is believed to have caused a split in his democratic party into two factions- the Kuomingtang who maintained the democratic principles although their methods for carrying it out may have been contrary to Dr. Sen's beliefs in human rights.  The other group became the current ruling Communisty party.  This split actually caused civil war in mainland China after the Japanese retreat.  Ultimately the communists won out.  Interesting, huh?  What could have happened if he lived longer?

Anyways, here are a few pics from the Lantern Festival at Sun Yat-Sen's memorial.

The lanterns below are "Spongebob becomes a tiger and Patrick becomes a Cow" to commemorate the exit of the year of the Cow and the entrance of the year of the Tiger.  I'm not sure the significance of Spongebob other than he is quite popular over here.

Always up to promote a good cause- Here is Taipei 101 as seen from the lantern festival encouraging people to "End Polio."   Last I checked, polio wasn't a problem in Taiwan.  The week before, the lights spelled out "Taiwan Up."  Some things just don't translate.