Funny Friday

This sign is posted on all the elevators in the subway stations around town. I never really thought this idea needed to be communicated but then again I have been known to be more cautious than some.  Again, some things just don't translate correctly.

Funny Friday #2.  

\Ava has this musical play table that is meant to stand next to and push the buttons.  She has decided that it is much more fun to stand on it and push the buttons with her toes.

Parenting: From A Taiwanese Perspective

My dear friend has provided more insight into the world of cultural parenting that I think is worth a separate posting.  She and her family lived in the US for a number of years and therefore understands American Culture quite well.  She is also Taiwanese and certainly understands Asian culture a good deal better than Jeff and I do as we muddle our way through.

Here is her perspective:


Hi Heather,

nice to get connected with you on the virtual world, too. :)

I want to add something to this. I agree that in Asian culture, parents enjoy bragging about their children's achievement. However, I don't think the main reason that most parents push their kids is because they can have more comfortable later life.

My parents are much richer than me actually :P. I felt the case we heard at the class is a little extreme. AS a collective culture, individual's achievement is the group's (here = family) achievement.

So I think most parents push their children so they too will feel the sense of accomplishment when their children succeed.

Also the status of a profession is very important to many. For most people, basically white collar jobs are considered to be at a higher level and much more respected than blue collar jobs. In the States, I think many parents would not mind if their kids become bus drivers or construction workers as long as they can support themselves. Here if your kid is a plumber and your neighbor's kid is a teacher than there's a huge difference.

As a result, parents push their kids to do better in school so they can get in a better-paid, more respected profession. Also in my grandparents' generation, most people were poor and life was hard. They therefore pushed their kids to work hard and succeed so their kids can live a better life. This philosophy I think still carries on.

This is an very interesting topic especially I'm teaching Sociology this semester.

Culture Lesson #2: Parenting

Cultural lessons play out in our life on an almost daily basis.  Often I am not surprised by small differences and even some of the bigger differences aren't bad.  It's just different. The food is different but I like it (especially dumplings and beef noodles- yum!). The language is different and difficult to learn but it's a fun challenge. Sometimes people can be seen as pushy but I prefer to think of them as eager to provide advice, wanted or otherwise.

Jeff and I are involved in a faith-based parenting class to meet more local people.  We also thought it would be a great idea to provide some new insight in managing a three-year old who hits her sister because in her words "it makes me happy" and an emerging toddler who has taken to throwing herself on the ground when not wanting to do something.

During our first class, as we discussed parenting methods it quickly became a culture lesson for Jeff and I.  Most parent's number one struggle was dealing with parenting-by-shame.  Basically, a child is repeatedly and consistently admonished for not being the best at all things at all times.  That is how most people were raised and the only way most know to raise their children.  This method is so prevalent that teachers will even prepare a class listing of everyone's grades so that the lower-performing students are shamed into performing better.  Parents push their children into the best schools and compare their children with others and with each other.  By the time a child has entered middle school all youthful fun and games has been replaced with extra tutoring sessions after school.  A typical 7th graders spends the entire day and evening studying and doing extra homework. And even if a student does do well they are shamed for not doing better. It is never enough.

The worse part is that oftentimes parents push so hard not because they want the best for the child but because once their child is older they are expected to care for the aging parent.  In a sense the child is expected to "repay" the loan of a good education by providing for the parents in old age.  In its ugliest form some parents feel that if they push the child to do better, then the parent will have a better retirement essentially.

Jeff and I listened to the other parents in the class struggling between wanting to raise their children in a loving manner yet not knowing how to help their children succeed without comparison and shame.  We recognized the need all the more clearly for good examples of well-balanced families who know how to have fun yet are still able to succeed.

It seems a humbling task to raise children when others are watching your example.  I was reminded of a story my grandmother told me about always storing her cast-iron skillet in the oven.  Her mother had always kept her skillet in the oven and my grandmother did the same and so on.  Noone ever knew why the cast-iron skillet was supposed to be kept in the oven.  One day she asked her mother why the skillet is always stored in the oven and my great-grandmother replied "because there was no room for it anywhere else in the kitchen."

"Lord, may others see my warts as areas to grow and not as an example to follow."

New Friends

Last week, we had some of our new friends over to our house for pizza as part of our Friday night English language fellowship group.

Our friends preferred pizza was seafood and vegetarian loaded with corn, pepper, and a few other unidentified vegetables.  Our family stuck with the usual canadian bacon and pineapple.  Funny enough, there are lots of Dominoes, Pizza Huts and other mom-and-pop pizza shops around but pepperoni is kind of hard to find and usually tastes a little funny.